Subject: Be Bless.
MY NAME IS MR ADAKU OGEIBRI, THE FIRST SON OF LATE MR NDIBEYA
OGEIBRI,AFORMER DIRECTOR OF ADMINISTRATION AND FINANCE IN THE ALADJA
STEEL ROLLING MILL IN EFURUN NEAR WARRI, DELTA STATE OF NIGERIA WHO DIED
IN AN EAS BAC11 PLANE CRASH ON MAY, 4TH 2005.I HAVE JUST RECENTLY BEEN
INFORMED BY MY LATE FATHER'S BANKING OFFICER THAT THE OLD MAN OPERATED A
SECRET ACCOUNT WITH THE BANK INTO WHICH A TOTAL SUM OF SEVEN MILLION
EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$7,800,000) WAS
TRANSFERED AND CREDITED IN HIS FAVOUR. I HAVE NOW BEEN ADVICED BY THE
BANKING OFFICER TO SEEK IN CONFIDENCE A FOREIGN ACCOUNT INTO WHICH THIS
FUND COULD BE TRANSFERED FOR SAFE KEEPING TO AVOID A LEAK FROM THE HIS
IT HAS BEEN RESOLVED THAT 25% WILL BE YOUR SHARE FOR NOMINATING AN
ACCOUNT FOR THIS PURPOSE AND ANY OTHER ASSISTANCE YOU GIVE IN THAT
REGARD, 5% HAS BEEN SLATED FOR REIMBURSEMENT OF ALL LOCAL AND
INTERNATIONL EXPENSES WHICH MAY BE INCURED IN THE TRANSFER PROCESS, AND
5% HAS BEEN CONCEDED TO THE LOCAL BANKING OFFICER HERE ASSISTING AND
FACILITATING THE TRANSFER. FINALLY 65% WILL COME TO MYSELF AND FAMILY
AND A GOOD PART OF THIS SHALL BE DIRECTED TOWARDS EXECUTING HIS WILL,
WHICH IS TO BUY SHARES AND STOCK IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND TO SECURE HIS
CHILDREN'S FUTURE. TO FACILITATE THE CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION, IF
ACCEPTED, DO SEND TO ME PROMPTLY BY E-MAILLING THE FOLLOWING:
1.NAME AND ADDRESS OF YOUR BANK. 2. TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS THROUGH
WHICH YOU WILL BE CONTACTED PROMPTLY BY ME FOR THE COMPLETION OF THIS
PLEASE PROMISE ME YOU WILL ASSIST ME, AND REMEMBER TO KEEP THIS
TRANSACTION VERY CONFIDENTIAL,NOTE THERE IS NO RISK INVOLVED.
I LOOK FORWARD TO HEAR FROM YOU.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
I don’t know who this other person you were writing to is , but, my name
is Bo Luke. I operate a moonshine business with my brother, Luke. You
might say that we are in the “distribution” business. I am interested in
your proposal. I know a little about steel – as I have that album
“british steel” by Judas Priest. Please tell me more.
Hazzard County, USA
MANY THANKS TO RETUNING MY E.MAIL SO QUICKLY. AS TIME IS OF URGENT
MATTER – I MUST IMMEDIATELY RECEIVE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER TELEPHONE
NUMER OF YOUR HOME. AS IHAV MENTION BEFORE OGEIBRI,AFORMER DIRECTOR OF
ADMINISTRATION AND FINANCE IN THE ALADJA STEEL ROLLING MILL IN EFURUN
NEAR WARRI, DELTA STATE OF NIGERIA DIED RECENTLY AND IT IS ONLY THROUGH
OUTSIDE HELP THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO TRANFER THE FUNDS. FOR YOUR HELP MY
COMPANY IS READY TO PART WITH 25% OF THE MONEY FOR YOUR HELP.
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
Your proposal sounds pretty interesting. I want to help out. I have
talked it over with Uncle Jesse and Luke and they think it is a very
sound idea. Americans generally pride themselves on being knowledgeable
about the outside world – but I have never heard of Nigeria. Is that in
South America or something? Let me know. Also do they drive cars in
South America? I have a really fucking badass car – it is called the
general lee, you know after the civil war general – we fought for YOUR
INDEPENDENCE. The doors don’t work that well, so I am going to use the
money that you will be giving me to fix the doors. I am enclosing a
picture of me and Luke – I am the pretty one.
Gotta go – Dale Earnhardt is on!
Thank you for being so honest and open in your e.mail. I have seen your
picture and you like a man of great honest. I pledge to you my loyalty.
Finally, my good friend, I will like you to honest, sincere and
confidential until the funds is transferred through the bank to your own
bank. Please send your home phone number, and bank account number.
You can call me on my direct number:234-8023536230 anytime of the day
for further discussion. I await your response.
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
Many days has passed and I still have not hear from you. Please send
$4,000 to kepp the account open from the steel company can you afford
that? That is the only way we can proceed on this transaction.
MR ADUKU OGEIBRI
I am sorry that it took so long to get back to you. Africa! Well – Ill
be damned. I guess I should say “G’Day Mate – Throw another shrimp on
Anyways, I have spend the last few days in Jail. It seems that Damn Boss
Hog had Sheriff Roscoe and Cletus (with his hound dog Clyde) put a tail
on me and Luke. We lost them for a while when we took that jump, but
they caught us.
Daisy, my cousin, had to bail us out by doing some “favors” for the
local law enforcement or should I say TO the local law enforcement. She
is getting to be quite the young looker these days – I have attached a
picture of her – She says that she always wanted to go to Africa because
they have great skiing.
You know I don’t know why that damn Boss Hog is always busting our
balls, but, we are just the good ol' boys, Never meanin' no harm, Beats
all you've ever saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was
born. Makin' their way, The only way they know how,That's just a little
bit more than the law will allow.
Anyways – I fixed up the General lee with more “turbo power” – NOS. They
were having a run on it at the Wal-Mart. Do they have Wal Marts in
PS are you Jewish?
Your brotha from anotha motha,
I am very sorry to hear about your boss and the recnt Jail. I hope that
you are ok and that your family is ok since you have been in the Jail.
Ther is not Wal Mart in Nigeria. Your Cousin is a beautiful young lady.
I am not Jewish, I am tsetse. It is very important that you send $4000.
I will give you the bank name when you are ready. Please call me on my
direct number:234-8023536230. I will like to discuss this matter in
confidence with you. There are many peoples who are trying to get this
money so we must move quickly.
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
You read the bible? Well there's this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities
of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the
name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of
the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of
lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and
furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And
you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant
your ass. I never gave much thought what it meant. I just thought it was
some cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in
I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. See now I'm thinkin',
maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9
Milimeter here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the
valley of darkness.
Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's
the world that's evil and selfish. Now I'd like that. But that shit
ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of
evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.
I think that I need to inform my lawyers about this. They work for
Rollins, Imus, MacMahon, Johnson, Ortiz and Baker (collectively known as
R.I.M.J.O.B)about my transactions.
PS I think I am starting to develop feelings for Daisy Duke…is that
I Love you,
I read the bible but am very confused by this last email. I don’t know
what you mean. Please call me I need to talk to you immediately and do
not involve RIMJOB. It is important we keep this a secret. You can calls
me anytime my direct number:234-8023536230. Also send the $4000 directly
to Western Union office in Lagos Nigeria. Much time has passed and the
account will closing soon, my friend.
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI
Or if that is your “REAL NAME” I think that this is a scam. Uncle Jesse
says that he has never heard of “Lagos, Nigeria” I would appreciate it
if you used your real name and real countries not “Nigeria”. I think
that you are full of shit. Also, I think that you guys “made up” Koala
bears – those things aren’t “really bears”. I liked INXS, though.
Gotta go – Daisy is wearing those damn shorts again and I have a woody!
PS in my spare time, I like to build Lego models of Star Wars Episode IV
- I have attached a picture of Han Solo and Greedo in the Bar on
Tatooine - right before Han wastes Greedo. Is this weird?
Your must belive me. This is not a scam, my dearest friend. I too love
you, we must take this oportuniy when the iron is hot. Nigeria is a
country in Africa and I assure you it is a real country – I have a
master degree in finance from the univsreity of Lagos.
Please sent the money to Lagos Nigeria in the western Union office to my
name and I will take care of things from here. I am a completey trustful
person of good faith and read the bible everyday. You must believe me,
I Love you too.
MR ADAKU OGEIBRI, M.S.
I just got some really bad news. They are replacing me and luke with
some fuckers named Coy and Vance. Can you believe that shit? I don’t
know what I am gonna do. I think that Hardees is hiring, though – so
there is that option. Someday – I could be manager.
Besides – This was a total joke on You my Nigerian Friend! Thanks for
the Laughs, its been real!
Bo and Luke Duke
It took me a couple of weeks to fuck this guy over so Vote Best of…..